The Super Bowl: Everything but the Game

Missy+Elliott+steals+the+show+during+the+halftime+performance.+Photo+courtesy+NBC+and+NFL.

Missy Elliott steals the show during the halftime performance. Photo courtesy NBC and NFL.

By Jake Smith, Assistant Editor-in-chief
February 10, 2015

The Super Bowl, America’s favorite unofficial holiday, wrapped up the 2014-2015 football season. As always, it was a crazy mix of commercials, music, and tweets. There may have been a football game going on too. Here are the highs and lows of the show.

 

HIGH: Those commercials!

There were some actually great commercials during the game that weren’t afraid to be funny. Mindy Kaling thought she was invisible. Kim Kardashian advocated for data stashing. The Today Show proved that the Internet was super confusing back in the day. Snickers capitalized on the “Sure, Jan” meme with Danny Trejo. Walter White returned from the dead to plug Esurance. All in all, good job. Let’s not repeat last year’s advertising.

Danny Trejo channels his inner Marcia Brady in a Snickers commercial. Picture courtesy Snickers.
Danny Trejo channels his inner Marcia Brady in a Snickers commercial. Picture courtesy Snickers.

 

LOW: That commercial

The commercials were actually pretty good this year, so when the Nationwide one came on, America was ready for comedy. What ensued was a tear-soaked mess. The ad started with a kid saying the things he’d never do, which seemed fairly normal. Then, out of the blue, he dropped the devastating line “I couldn’t grow up because I died in an accident,” followed by a shot of an overflowing bathtub. What were you thinking, Nationwide? I wanted to enjoy my day without thinking about dead kids.

This kid died on national television. Great. Just great. Picture courtesy Nationwide.
This child’s face tugged on heart strings everywhere.  Picture courtesy Nationwide.

 

HIGH: Halftime

I’m saving the best parts for last, so bear with me. Katy Perry did an A-OK job, so good for her. Lenny Kravitz was Lenny Kravitz, so that was great. The costumes were interesting, the sets were flashy, and there was a giant metallic lion. The high point, of course, was Missy Elliott descending from on high and blowing Katy Perry away. Her sales have since increased nearly 1000%.

 

DRAW: Katy Perry’s background dancers

They weren’t that good, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The shark on the left side of the stage, which clearly was the weakest dancer, has since ascended to fame. Left shark has since been memorialized as a meme, a costume, and as a tattoo.

Left Shark tries desperately to dance with Katy Perry at the halftime show. Picture courtesy NBC and NFL.
Left Shark tries desperately to dance with Katy Perry at the halftime show. Picture courtesy NBC and NFL.

 

DRAW: That really drawn out fight

Fights are bad. Don’t fight. Still, the altercation gave those of us who don’t watch the game for the game something fun to look at.

 

HIGH: The end of football season

I enjoy football well enough, but I’m ready for my spring TV. I’m more excited to talk about Fresh Off the Boat and Secrets and Lies than an interception or whatever.